Ode to a Cheese Wheel

Was the circle invented, only for your residing?

Could there be any higher tribute to geometric designing?

Such suppleness, such tenderness, such delicacy in blossom;
You remind me of Pacman, and that game was awesome.

The glories of your mold captured in a beautiful vein.
You’re waxen skin, imparting such a dignified mien.
Supple roundness abounding,
Bulbiosity, outstanding!

What is the tangent of delicious?
Cheese wheels and mouths, both round; serendipitous?
My desire ferments much faster than you do,
Curdled desperation, like Archbishop Tutu.

I’ve got rind on my mind, and it’s round,
When I’m lonely, I’ll often pick up half a pound,
But when it’s time to go large, only the wheel will do,
Ballin' out of control with like, a gallon of fondue.

Earthy, barnyard, grassy, or creamy,
Pungent and love’n life? Mmm just dreamy.
Velvet texture, piquant, and herbaceous,
This whole cheese thing has me feeling salacious.

So thank you Euclid, and thank you Pasteur,
You guys have my taste buds delirious with rapture.
Pretty much, this whole party can go suck on deez,
Cause I don’t need you guys, I have a wheel of cheese.

By V. Rogers and F. Pollock